So why'd you ask?

Here's one I never understand.

Scene:  Two guys, one browsing the vinyl (he has an Enya album picked out), the other clutching a binder to his chest, dreamily looking at the ceiling.  I'm playing the most recent Esmerine album which is mostly instrumental and currently on a fairly quiet track featuring guitar and marimba.

Binder Clutchy Guy (to me):  What is the name of this music playing overhead?
Me:  It's a group from Montreal called Esmerine.
BCG:  Oh?  It's nice.

BCG (to Enya Vinyl Dude):  This is nice, isn't it?
EVD:  Hm, what?
BCG:  What's playing.  It's a group from Montreal called Esmerine.
EVD:  Ah?  Yeah, it's nice.

A few more tracks play while EVD browses further and BCG looks at the ceiling.

BCG (to me):  Do you sell this particular music here?
Me (reaching into display case and handing it to him):  Sure, it's this one.

BCG looks at it (it's sealed and $16.98) front and back, probably seven or eight times.

BCG (to me):  Is what you're playing a selection of tracks?
Me:  No, it's that album you're holding.
BCG:  Oh?  It is?
Me:  Yes.

BCG flips the album back and forth another three or four times, puts it back on the counter.

BCG:  Thanks.
Me:  No problem.


A few more minutes go by, EVD buys his Enya Vinyl and they both leave.

(scene)

So...

guy: ...does some vinyl come in 180 gram pressing?
me:  A lot of newer releases are done that way, yes.
guy:  I have a buddy who bought one and he says it skips on his turntable.  Should he put, like, a bunch of quarters on the arm?  Will that stop the skipping?
me:  It will, probably.  It will also destroy the record and the stylus.
guy:  OH! Really!  Well I guess he shouldn't do it then.
me:  That would be my advice.

[scene]

First thing in the morning

 

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Guy:  I have a few CDs I'd like to sell for cash
Me:  I'll have a look, at least.

Open bag:  7 Nickelback CDs

Me:   I can't really do much with Nickelback... no one really looks for them up here.
Guy:  I guess. I cringe when I hear them, now.

[the question arises why it took 7 CDs to arrive at this].

Me:  I can understand that reaction.
Guy:  (pauses)  So there's no way I can get even $10 for them?

[this is a common follow-up to me telling someone that I can use what they're trying to unload.  I've yet to get the logic of expecting money for something I've already said was utterly valueless to me.  In my opinion this is a rung below panhandling]

Me:  All I'd be doing them is putting them on the street for cars to drive over.  That's not quite worth $10 to me.  Sorry.

[scene]

KISS Army

Day one (telephone):

Guy:  You buy records right?
Me:  We do if we think we can resell them.
Guy:  I have a bunch I'd like to sell.
Me:  What kind of titles are we talking about?
Guy:  I'm not sure.
Me:  You don't know what you have for sale?
Guy:  Well they're in a bag.  I think there's a Heart album in there.
Me:  Hmm, well we might take that if it's in good shape.  Basically we're looking for classic rock, punk, metal, folk etc.  We don't take classical, country, easy listening or compilations like K-Tel, Time/Life etc.
Guy:  So classic stuff like Zeppelin, Floyd and KISS, right?
Me:  Yeah those are titles we can sell provided they are in good shape.
Guy:  Well I have a lot of KISS albums, but I'm not looking to sell those...
Me:  That's too bad, we can always sell KISS.
Guy:  Yeah there's a bunch of others in the bag, but I'm not going to sell my KISS.  Are you going to be in tomorrow?
Me:  Yes, from 11 to 5pm.
Guy:  And your name is, so I know who I'm dealing with?
Me:  I'm Eric.
Guy:  I'll see you tomorrow.

Day two (instore)

Guy:  Are you Eric?
Me:  Yes.
Guy:  I talked to you on the phone, these are the albums I had to sell.

(produces cloth bag with about 25-30 7" records without sleeves rattling around and two copies of AC/DC - Back in Black, a copy of Michael Jackson - Thriller, a copy of Motley Crue - Shout at the Devil and a copy of Loverboy - Get Lucky.  The sleeves of all of these have dozens of hand drawn KISS logos more or less completely obliterating all of the artwork).

Me:  I don't think I'd be able to resell them in this condition.
Guy:  Oh really?
Me:  Yeah, sorry

[scene]

You always forget the ones you love.

Woman:  I only have a minute because I called a cab... but I just wanted to check with you....  I had a tape... 89/90... and it had a couple of songs on it that were hits.  And I don't have the tape anymore... and I've been looking for it ever since.  Those two songs were just fantastic and I really wanted them again.

Me:  (after a long silence hoping there was more information).  This was a tape called 89/90?

Woman:  No, no, no... that was the year, I think, it CAME OUT.  No, no it was an album by a group around then that had two songs on it.  One was a hit right away... the other later got used somewhere for something and became really well known.  But I don't think the group did very much after...

Me:  There are a lot of groups this description could apply to... Hundreds, Thousands, even.

Woman:  Oh, really?  Oh shoot.

Me:  You don't have any other information that would be helpful?

Woman:  No, well, they had kind of a Celtic thing mixed with pop... and the song they had... the famous song had like a waltz or "midnight serenade" feel to it.  Around 89/90 they came out.

Me:  Hmmm. Maybe The Corrs, no?  And you don't remember the name of either of the songs?

Woman:  No, but if you said the name, of the song or the group, I'd remember it right away.  My sister and I really loved those songs.  She didn't have them, I had the cassette.  She went up to HMV and they said they'd look into it.

Me:  Well maybe they'll turn something up... but I'd need a little more to go on.  If you can think of anything else come back in and we'll see what we can track down.

Woman:  OK, thanks.

I think I've figured it out

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5 for Friday 3

Five songs, chosen without a plan, brought together to see.
Download and enjoy:

01 "Another Planet"
The Notwist - Shrink (Community/1998)

02 "Isolation"
Joy Division - Closer (Factory/1980)

03 "Kule Kule"
Konono #1 - Congotronics (Crammed/2004)

04 "Dial: Revenge"
Mogwai - Rock Action (Matador/2001)

05 "Orange Disaster"
David Grubbs - The Thicket (Drag City/1998)

Duration: 16'53" Size: 25.5 Mb
Download

Five for Friday 2

[photo stolen from Mike Nason's Facebook page]

Five songs, chosen without a plan, brought together to see.
Download and enjoy:

01 "Roman Candle"
Bedhead - Beheaded (Trance Syndicate/1996)

02 "Femmes Damnées"
Geoff Farina - Already Told You (Southern/2005)

03 "Écologie + Histoire part 3"
Vitaminsforyou - I'm Sorry Forever And For Always (Intr_version/2003)

04 "Blankets & Shields"
Canyon - Empty Rooms (Gern Blandsten/2001)

05 "Fields and Parks of Easy Access"
Town & Country - Up Above (Thrill Jockey/2006)

Duration: 14'03" / Size: 20 Mb
Download