Expertise

Is there a safe and non-confrontational way to tell someone that they're stupid? Out of their depth? Barking up the wrong tree... if they even recognize that it's a tree they're trying to bark up in the first place... y'know?

Here's a Backstreet Moment for your consideration and amusement:

Scene: It's a little before noon and "GUY" comes into to the store. His gait is slightly bowed, as though he's spent a good long time on a fairly wide backed horse. This "GUY" has been in the store on a few occasions previously and things have never really gone all that well with him. He has a knack for asking questions which really can't be answered. So...


"GUY": Do you have the new Dead Beat CD?

Me: I'm not sure what CD you mean...

"GUY": It says on the poster downstairs that you have it.

Me: This is the first I hear of it.

"GUY": Right in the entry way... Dead Beat's First Words.

**note** First Words are a local Hip Hop crew, Dead Beat is the productions name they use... but the guy is thinking "First Words" is a new album by DEAD BEAT... so we work through that.


"GUY": What label is this on?

Me: It's not on a label, it's locally produced.

"GUY": What kind of music is it?

**note** Bear in mind this person came in to ask me specifically if I had this album.

Me: It's Hip Hop.

"GUY": Is it good?

Me: Yes.

"GUY": How does it sound?

Me: (a little sternly) Good.

**note** At this point the guy takes the disc and puts it back in the Local Artists section and flips through the rest of the discs.

"GUY": [I'm attempting to quote this exactly] In your circle of people or your listening what do you think is considered to be the best sounding of the local recording?

Me: (a little more sternly) I try not to give it too much thought.

**note** I finally remember that the last time the guy was in the store, about a year and a half ago, he was remarking to no one who'd actually care that he was laying out some cash to set up a recording studio because he thought the city needed one, given the diversity of talent and the... etc. etc. etc.

"GUY": How do you find the quality of most local recordings.

Me: I think they're all pretty good, especially now that all you need is a laptop and a microphone instead of a big studio set up.

"GUY": ...

**note** So the guy rambles around the 99 cent vinyl for a little while, still casually asking questions like, and I quote: "Who do you think the best all around drummer in town is?" Which I answer, truthfully, more or less... and this is followed by, "Who do you think is best for everything else?" EVERYTHING ELSE!!! He moves over to the used CDs pick up a couple and then asks: "How do you think what you're listening to [on the stereo in the store] influenced Led Zeppelin?" I tell him I'm listening to a 2004 Vandermark Five album, so I doubt it had much influence on Led Zeppelin whatsoever. Finally he buys his Tracy Chapman and Black Crowes CDs and is off... likely to produce the next Led Zeppelin via modern jazz masterpiece.

And I say good luck to him.

And good night to you all.