It's been a little while since my last diatribe about daily interaction with "the public," so I will present to you a double shot from both of my service-oriented jobs:
1. The Record Store
phone rings
Me: Backstreet.
Woman: Hi. I don't know if you can help me out... I have a strange request [they all do]. I'm looking for a Shania Twain track...
Me: [trying to interrupt] We don't sell...
Woman: [going on uninterrupted] ...called "I'm Holding onto Love" [or something approx.], but with the words taken out.
Me: You mean a karaoke CD.
Woman: Absolutely Not! I need the music to sing along to at my wedding, but the words, the singing has to be taken out.
Me: What you want is a karaoke CD.
Woman: Well, I guess if there's no way to get what I'm looking for I'll have to use a karaoke CD.
Me: No. What I'm saying is what you're asking for IS a karaoke CD. A karaoke CD has the music only, no lyrics, you sing along. That's karaoke.
Woman: Oh. Well do you have the Shania Twain karaoke disc?
Me: No we don't sell karaoke discs.
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2. The Computer Lab
Late-40s woman comes barrelling in with a textbook and a wild, needy look about her.
Woman: [pointing at printers in room behind me] Do your photocopiers work on cash or copy card?
Me: [indicating the actual copier to her left] That's our copier, and it only works with copy cards.
Woman: I'm just up in Fredericton for this one class, I've got to go back..., but I've got to have this, or else... god! Do STU [St. Thomas University] copy cards work in these copiers? {She pulls out a card from the Ward Chipman Library from UNB Saint John]
Me: That doesn't look like it'll work.
Woman: They should all be the same. I hate.... Well, can I buy a card from you?
Me: We don't sell them, only Imaging Services, but their office hours end at 4:30 or 5:00 pm.
Woman: Where can I buy one now?
Me: The Harriet Irving Library. But if you want to copy for cash you can go to the Paper Trail in the Student Union Building.
Woman: I don't have time. This is my professor's book. We're just on a break. What if I give you cash?
Me: What would I do with the cash? The copier doesn't take cash.
Woman: I have three children. [I have no clue what that's supposed to mean] I'll give you $20.
Me: Again, what for?
Woman: To copy these pages for me! [pointing at printers in the back again] On your photocopiers!! Those are photocopiers!!!
Me: No. Those are printers. That's the photocopier. It only takes copy cards.
Woman: But how do you copy things. Don't you have a card!?!
Me: I don't have to copy things. I don't have a card.
Woman: ...Or a soul apparently!!! [storms out]
The morale of the stories:
#1 Some people aren't smart enough for karaoke.
#2 Maybe we aren't paying teachers too little after all.
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