The Posey Question

First a gag:From Dork #11 by Evan Dorkin.

Then on to the post:

When it turned out that I wouldn't be going up to visit my folks until Sunday (instead of Saturday) last weekend I decided to use my now-clearer Friday evening to visit the uptown Mall district of Fredericton. My main objective was to purchase a new stock of receipt books for the store... but while I was up there I decided to peruse the many other goods and services offered. I bought a bottle of cheap Italian wine, for instance.

The other object/appliance I thought of purchasing was an mp3 player. There have been periods where I was so obsessed with having a portable music player (walkman, discman, whatever) that I can recall once not leaving the house because I'd neglected to recharge batteries. No music... no walking. Recently it's been less and less important to me... not to mention some concerns about what hearing loss I might already have inflicted upon myself. The one instance where it still seems vital is during prolonged travel by bus. Not having something that shields you from direct contact with the fellow transit patrons is as dangerous as practing unprotected sex in Central Africa.

I went to Future Shop and looked at the iPods and the iPod knock offs. The winsome little Shuffles were on sale for $75... but then I thought: if I were to get one of these buggers for my Sunday departure I'd be faced with the hassle of bringing CDs up to the lab, ripping them, loading the player, charging it, etc. Instead I perused the portable CD player section. Pickings were slim, with models ranging from $19.99 bottom feeders to, remarkably, high end ones that ran for around $150. The brilliant flash I had a while ago revolved around the fact that the $75 512 MB Shuffle was a diaphonous and sexy little electronic doodad... but... BUT... doesn't a blank CD-R hold 700 MB of info? Therefore if you were of a mind to fill one of those with mp3s it would contain more music than your Shuffle would hold. AND couldn't you prepare a few dozen of these based on your unstable mood shifts, therby never being locked into whatever you planned on one measly little 512 MB plastic bookmark??

So I looked a little harder at the CD players that played mp3 discs. The one that caught my eye was the Panasonic SL-SX480:
It had the added bonus of looking like a digital clam, and the headphones were white so I could hide it in my jacket and the casual passerby might mistake it for an iPod... so I could maintain my futuristic cred, yo. The Future Shop price was $49.99. I looked at it long and hard. I looked at it harder. I picked up its little clamshell casing and lifted it and lowered it along a vertical axis several times. Then I put it back.

Then I went over to Zellers and bought the same one for $39.99. Yay!!! I like shopping at Zellers. Somehow it feels like I'm buying something from a slightly retarded street vendor... like I'm doing something good for my community.

I decided also to stop at Rogers to flip through their discount DVDs. Occasionally you can turn up something good... and in fact I did. I had been just talking to James Kerr during our trip to Montreal how I never seem to see After Hours for sale anywhere (I believe this derived from the original topic of Rosanna Arquette). But here now in the 3/$24 pile was a honest to goodness copy of the underrated Martin Scorcese comedy (that's right... Martin Scorcese comedy!!!) I also bought a copy of Wolf Creek, which I hadn't seen but did enjoy, though Roger Ebert says this of the Australian film:

I had a hard time watching "Wolf Creek." It is a film with one clear purpose: To establish the commercial credentials of its director by showing his skill at depicting the brutal tracking, torture and mutilation of screaming young women. When the killer severs the spine of one of his victims and calls her "a head on a stick," I wanted to walk out of the theater and keep on walking.

Roger Ebert can be a bit of a pussy sometimes.

The last piece of the tryptich-de-DVD was Blade:Trinity. Now, yes... I should know better. I saw the movie in the theatre. I know it's crap. Really I do. But I like the other two movies so much... and... and... what good is a trilogy if you don't hve the third part. I mean, some of you out there bought Godfather III, right? Right?


One of the things about the movie that contributed to it's badness, but simultaneously somehow made it more fun was the trio of vampire villains who worked the evil machinations against Blade... y'know by resurrecting Dracula... I mean, what would you do to defeat him? The trio was played by... ahem... from left to right... Triple H, Parker Posey and Callum Keith Rennie. Having these three together in one movie, let alone one onscreen frame, is akin to Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom featuring a segment on Koalas stalking Penguins in Nebraska. A WWE wrestler, the guy who played Billy Talent in Hard Core Logo and... well... Parker Posey. WTF?

By far the most fun is watching Parker, who seems to be acting in a different movie altogether... something closer to an all-female Three Stooges retrospective.

Made me start thinking about her work in general... I mean how's this for a schizophrenic list of credits... the ones I've bolded are movies I've seen and think are great... the ones in italics... well, you decide. The last one (or first one, actually) on the list is a new Hal Hartley film... a sequel to Henry Fool... I can't wait to see it.

Fay Grim (2006)
For Your Consideration (2006)
Superman Returns (2006)
The OH in Ohio (2006)
Adam & Steve (2005)
Blade Trinity (2004)
Laws of Attraction (2004)
The Event (2003)
A Mighty Wind (2003)
Personal Velocity (2002)
The Sweetest Thing (2002)
The Anniversary Party (2001)
Josie and the Pussycats (2001)
Best in Show (2000)
Scream 3 (2000)
Dinner at Fred's (1999)
The Venice Project (1999)
The Misadventures of Margaret (1998)
What Rats Won't Do (1998)
You've Got Mail (1998)
Clockwatchers (1997)
Drunks (1997)
Henry Fool (1997)
The House of Yes (1997)
SubUrbia (1997)
Basquiat (1996)
The Daytrippers (1996)
Waiting for Guffman (1996)
The Doom Generation (1995)
Flirt (1995)
Frisk (1995)
Kicking & Screaming (1995)
Party Girl (1995)
Amateur (1994)
Dead Connection (1994)
Mixed Nuts (1994)
Sleep with Me (1994)
Coneheads (1993)
Dazed and Confused (1993)
Joey Breaker (1993)

So... overall... Parker Posey? Should we keep her? Is dating Ryan Adams the last straw? Is being in that commercial with Jimmy Fallon?

I say we keep her.