(Season's) Greetings.
It is officially crunch time... some ten thousand minutes before Xmas.
It's been a couple of peculiar weeks. For some reason I can't seem to accumulate enough sleep. Not that I can't sleep. Rather the opposite... I've been sleeping 8-10 hours a night and napping in between, but I can't seem to become revitalized by it.
Perhaps it's just to escape the stresses of the season. When you work both in retail and at a University you tend to have your few small stresses... but then you also are bombarded with several others' larger stresses, either real or imaginary.
One aspect that's been ongoing is the sluggish and unpredictable shopping patterns over the last month. November was deceptively busy (compared to previous years) but there hasn't been the hoped-for consistent increase that leads up to Xmas. I was beginning to assume it had mostly to do with a strong Canadian dollar and an increase in cross-border/online shopping... but today the first 10 people were fear-eyed older ladies with lists written in English that they still could not read. Therefore we have the XMAS OF BAD PLANNERS.
The thing about the bad planner is that they don't understand the error of their ways. The bad planner operates under the delusion that in the 21st Century every store that specializes in something (i.e. music) must contain every item available (or even out of circulation) that falls under the general descripition... even if said store is only 15 feet by 15 feet in size. To make matters worse they usually come to me at the recommendation of a larger store who also didn't have their hopelessly obscure item in stock... thus, because we were recommended, they fully believe that we must have it... making their disappointment all that more poignant, or pungent, or something.
Another added stress is that I've had problems helping even the good planners due to not one but two orders over the last week that ended up not shipping when they were supposed to. I don't mind dealing with incompetence from the customers... they give me money... but incompetence from the suppliers... who I give money to (sometimes)... well that gives me bad breath.
A retail unrelated stress came at the end of a great stress-relieving event:
Here are some pictures from the event.
The Squaredance Kid
ImageisEverything
Notorious D. O'Rea
Vehicle Lasso
and the mighty Piper Perabo
The mishap (stress inducing) came near the end of the evening after I took a picture of another member of the audience who spent much of his time lounging on the clothes dryer in the washroom:
Tito
Obviously offended by the invasion of his personal space he slapped the camera out of my hands and it fell to the floor with the lens extended. Or I might've just dropped it 'cos I was drunk. In any case the lens was tipped up at an off angle and wouldn't retract. I gently popped back in line and it went back in when I turned the power off... then came back out when I turned the power on... whew!
However the next day at breakfast I had hoped to get some day-after pictures from our assembled crew only to discover the lens on longer wished to come out. I supposed if I had been dropped on my head from a height I'd feel the same.
In any case there are three more stress/shopping days to contend with and this is my last evening at the lab until January 7th.
I will try to keep you apprised of my comings... or at least my goings... over the holidays. With or without photographic assistance.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Sunday, December 09, 2007
An Open Letter to Lee Horsely
Hey.
Don't think we aren't aware of what you were trying to pull, man.
First up... the whole Tom Selleck thing. Sure you had the muscles and swagger to make the young women swoon... just like Tom. And sure you had the rug-like chest hair and porn star mustache to bring in the gay crowd... just like Tom. But then you had to try to one-up him.
You had to be a private eye... just like Tom, er Magnum... but it wasn't enough to know rich people, you had to be rich people. Texas millionaire Matt Houston... you thought you were Magnum, Higgins and Robin Masters all-in-one, huh? You had to fly around in your helicopter and, first season anyway, solve crimes brought to you by your slightly backwards relatives from "back home." You had to bring along your slightly backwards ranch hands Bo and Lamar, for no other reason than to secure the soon-to-be Red State viewers and keep Jeff Foxworthy glued to the set taking notes while he ate Zoodles straight from the can.
Aaaaand you had to bring along Pamela Hensley so that people who didn't buy into any of the above (but still harbored a Buck Rogers-inspired lust for Princess Ardala... or Charlie's Angels big hair... or both) still felt compelled to watch.
You thought we wouldn't ask questions like, "How does a multi-millionaire oil man get away with taking 70 hours a week tracking down his great-aunt's embezzled insurance money?" If you had that much money why didn't you hire someone to do it? Someone smarter.
Oh, and don't think we didn't spot the whole "Matt is short for Matlock" thing to bring in the blue hairs... and when that wasn't so much of a sure thing you actually get Buddy Ebsen as a guest star? For shame.
Couldn't you track down a black guy in a wheel chair or an Asian with a hearing aid?
But now Tom Selleck is on Las Vegas and your website is under construction. So...
Good luck to you Lee Horsely (formerly Matt "Matlock" Houston, PI)
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