So...

guy: ...does some vinyl come in 180 gram pressing?
me:  A lot of newer releases are done that way, yes.
guy:  I have a buddy who bought one and he says it skips on his turntable.  Should he put, like, a bunch of quarters on the arm?  Will that stop the skipping?
me:  It will, probably.  It will also destroy the record and the stylus.
guy:  OH! Really!  Well I guess he shouldn't do it then.
me:  That would be my advice.

[scene]

First thing in the morning

 

+

=

Guy:  I have a few CDs I'd like to sell for cash
Me:  I'll have a look, at least.

Open bag:  7 Nickelback CDs

Me:   I can't really do much with Nickelback... no one really looks for them up here.
Guy:  I guess. I cringe when I hear them, now.

[the question arises why it took 7 CDs to arrive at this].

Me:  I can understand that reaction.
Guy:  (pauses)  So there's no way I can get even $10 for them?

[this is a common follow-up to me telling someone that I can use what they're trying to unload.  I've yet to get the logic of expecting money for something I've already said was utterly valueless to me.  In my opinion this is a rung below panhandling]

Me:  All I'd be doing them is putting them on the street for cars to drive over.  That's not quite worth $10 to me.  Sorry.

[scene]

KISS Army

Day one (telephone):

Guy:  You buy records right?
Me:  We do if we think we can resell them.
Guy:  I have a bunch I'd like to sell.
Me:  What kind of titles are we talking about?
Guy:  I'm not sure.
Me:  You don't know what you have for sale?
Guy:  Well they're in a bag.  I think there's a Heart album in there.
Me:  Hmm, well we might take that if it's in good shape.  Basically we're looking for classic rock, punk, metal, folk etc.  We don't take classical, country, easy listening or compilations like K-Tel, Time/Life etc.
Guy:  So classic stuff like Zeppelin, Floyd and KISS, right?
Me:  Yeah those are titles we can sell provided they are in good shape.
Guy:  Well I have a lot of KISS albums, but I'm not looking to sell those...
Me:  That's too bad, we can always sell KISS.
Guy:  Yeah there's a bunch of others in the bag, but I'm not going to sell my KISS.  Are you going to be in tomorrow?
Me:  Yes, from 11 to 5pm.
Guy:  And your name is, so I know who I'm dealing with?
Me:  I'm Eric.
Guy:  I'll see you tomorrow.

Day two (instore)

Guy:  Are you Eric?
Me:  Yes.
Guy:  I talked to you on the phone, these are the albums I had to sell.

(produces cloth bag with about 25-30 7" records without sleeves rattling around and two copies of AC/DC - Back in Black, a copy of Michael Jackson - Thriller, a copy of Motley Crue - Shout at the Devil and a copy of Loverboy - Get Lucky.  The sleeves of all of these have dozens of hand drawn KISS logos more or less completely obliterating all of the artwork).

Me:  I don't think I'd be able to resell them in this condition.
Guy:  Oh really?
Me:  Yeah, sorry

[scene]