Explain to me... Jazz

Smiling lady in her 70s enters the store:

Her: You ordered a CD for me... Prima... Louis?

Me: Louis Prima

Her: Yes Louis Prima

Me: Right here

Her: It's not for me, I've never heard of him. It's for my granddaughter.

Me: That's interesting music for a young person to be interested in.

Her: Well she's 25 and married.

Me: Oh. Still. It's fairly old style jazz music.

Her: Could be for her husband. He's an American.


This is Louis Prima



This is Julie Newmar

how to start a week

Having transgressed against my "no tv" edict last night... new episodes of Simpsons and Family Guy that were pretty crappy when it comes right down to it... I got up this morning with a song in my heart (Witchita Lineman by Glen Campbell) and a slight spring in my recently more orthopedically hampered step.

I kicked things off with a coffee and an outline of a postcard story I'm trying to bang out to submit by Thursday for a lit mag contest. Next a quick shower to fix up my bed-enhanced hipster 'do. My shower has been uncooperative lately. I think the cold water pipe leading in to the shower head has all but seized up. I get things just right through the bath faucet, pull the stopper and... MAGMA MAGMA MAGMA!!! I go crashing through my recently installed new shower curtain and nearly out the back window. All in all... no fun!

I head downtown to the Library to grab a couple of anti-TV supplements... what you would call books... for the week:

Jan Zwicky-Robinson's Crossing

Bret Easton Ellis-Lunar Park

I always like Jan's poetry... but really it's the Ellis book I've been curious about... and surprised to see the library got it so quickly (it was actually bought with book sale money... hmmm.) From the reviews I gather it essentially starts out as an autobiography and eventually becomes a murder mystery. What is fiction and what is fact shifts and intermeshes. I've only read a little Ellis, so maybe I'm not the ideal audience... we'll see.

The I hopped the 15S uptown to the Jubilee Super Buffet. I didn't make a special trip... I needed stuff at Staples and Sobey's... but still I felt the need for a little food-based overindulgence:



See? Super Cheap! And also I'm still figuring out the new bus line perambulations. I'm getting closer.

Also made a quick stop at Jingler's. A place I seldom get to... and it was overflowing with fine wrinkly American outerwear (and underwear... not terribly sexy stuff... although it was fun to see a 50ish woman dragging her baseball hatted husband along with her to browse through it for a new bra). The sheer heaping was staggering to the senses, so I grabbed one shirt so I could say I'd been there:


If you can't make it out, it says: Conneticut Women's Football. It's a big girl's shirt... I figure if you've been called it from time to time why not wear it.

Did my mall stuff then took the 13S to Regent Mall and transferred to the 16N down through campus to work. And here I am.

And that's how to start a week.

Thanks

the great brain defrost

After a few weeks of semi-intensive socialism (that is to say being social) this week has been fairly xenophobic.

I broke my television silence rule and dragged the many-headed beast directly into my bedroom last Sunday and hunkered deep down under the covers to watch my DVD box set of Firefly.


Like most people I'd not kept up with it when it was on (if it was even on a channel my speaker-wire-as-rabbit-ear system receives). It was the last of my reluctances after slowly surrendering to Buffy the Vampire Slayer and then Angel; it being another of the Joss Whedon-created shows. But Western in Space? I mean, come on!! But sure enough, like every other Whedon/DVD interface I gave in and drifted through all 14 episodes in the next 3-4 days. If you TV binge how do you TV purge?

The television went back into its cold storage last night, though. I'm trying to map out some creative work to dive into pre-Xmas crush. It's going slowly, but going... slowly.

John tried to give me a boost after breakfast... but I'm not sure my body is strong enough for his hardcore techniques:


Beware!!

How could anyone have seen this coming???

In case you wonder why I have posted in a while... it's just that the sad news has been too much to put into words. And just before Thanksgiving in the US, too.

Be brave, y'all.

Ice

I'm on the ice. Nothing works out here. Penguins suck.


This is a penguin.

week was, weak is, week will be

So in the real world... the one I've invented for myself to go through either completely unnoticed (that's me outside you're office window right now... don't look up... oops!) or as obvious as a drunk falling down two stories onto your picnic table... I've been trying to take in as much good music as possible in the bars and taverns of Fredericton.

Last Wednesday... that'd be November 9th... I booted 'er after work down to the mighty Bugaboo Creek to see a trio of Canadian bands: Controller Controller with Magneta Lane and Sylvie. Since I don't have complete control of this invented real world of mine, show time for the first band, Sylvie, didn't occur until around 11pm.

Sylvie

I'd missed Sylvie last time they were in town and had heard good things. Live they were fairly aggressive, but with lots of vocal harmonies and pedal effects. On CD they have a Jawbox feel... if you can imagine bassist Kim Coletta adding to lead vocals (I really miss Jawbox). Magneta Lane were just setting up to go on around 12:15 am... and I realized that in this real world I was getting very sleepy... veeerrrry sleeeeepy. So I went home. I figured the cool kids had come out to see Controller.Controller and the only way to be cooler (other than stay and carry on a loud conversation throughout their whole set) was to bail before they came on.

I took a break from the rock n roll real world on the weekend and instead waded upper-thigh deep into the real world of poetry readings and chapbook production. It was the Poetry Weekend at UNB with about 20-30 readers on Saturday and Sunday... enlightening, entertaining, gruelling. Interspersed with the performances I was helping my friend Brecken start to assemble her chapbook which is coming out soon with JackPine Press who do lovely limited run artbooks. Her book is being launched here in Fredericton in January in the last third of the month. Stay tuned.

I re-entered the RRW (Real Rock World) last night with a visit to The Cellar to see Cuff the Duke. I missed the opening act, but second up was a Toronto band called The Blue Raincoats, who are (usually) two young women on gtr and bass. One of the Raincoats apparently had fallen ill (see mom, you can protect yourself all you want and still get a cold) and a fill in second gtr took up the slack. The performance was a little too woozy/Lillith Fairy to keep my neck from getting a little rubbery. Soon enough the boys from Oshawa took the stage.

Cuff the Duke

They did a shortish set playing mostly from their new album (which I've yet to purchase... why? Don't ask me I live in the RRW). It was good, but not as energetic and diverse as I've seen from them in the past. Maybe rocking a Wednesday is harder for some.

On the horizon is a weekend of music. An old acquaintance of mine,

Selina Martin

is playing a couple of shows at the Capital on Friday and Saturday. On Friday she's opening for Les Paiens, then on Saturday she's headlining. So come out (Saturday would be the best) and help me to rock in the RRW... if only in my mind.

taxi cab confessions

So I have to take a cab at least 3 times a week. Tuesday through Thursday I work at Backstreet Records from 11 am to 5 pm, then at a Media Lab of UNB from 5 pm to 10 pm. If you take careful note you'll see the ending and starting time of the day/night job transfer is pretty darn close... one could say identical. Through the grace of my indispensibleness (sp? wd?) I make it work by leaving the first job about 5 min. early and getting to the second about 5 min. late. But the in between moments find me in... a cab.

A large percentage of my cab rides are uneventful. Lately I've been tending to get drivers who say very little, except when facing imminent collision with something. Even then it's more noises from the chest than actual verbal communication. Of those that do speak most are fun to talk to... ranging from the "weather" and "traffic" banalities all the way up real conversations. And since I take so many cabs, all from the same cab company, these conversations sometimes pick up after days/weeks have elapsed.

There exists a breed of driver who is wholly other, though. They speak, yes, and a lot. But rather than conversations what they have is a one man/woman play that has non-stop showings as long as the passenger seat is full. Here is the recent showing:

Today: Since you didn't ask

Scene: Cab pulls up to the curb on Queen St. Catch a quick glimpse of the driver as I open the door and slide into my seat: about 275 lbs. Unshaven. Smells like a haybale left out behind a butcher's shop.

DRIVER:[...as I'm getting in cab] Hey, Backstreet Recorrrrdsssss!!!

ME: Heh heh, yeah I...

DRIVER: Almost didn't make it there, traffic, and... traffic. Ha Ha.

ME: Yeah, well, uh, Marshall D'Avray Hall, UNB... VIP.

DRIVER: Got a VIP to UNB, yeah!!! I feel like a VIP too. Got me a big doe over the weekend.

ME: Oh, uh, that's...

DRIVER: Yeah! I go way back in the woods, couple of miles, that's the way I hunt. It's the only way to hunt if you ask me. Give the deers a chance. Meet them where they live. Not putting bait out and waiting... going out and finding them.

ME: Yeah, that's...

DRIVER: And I love the meat. Deer steaks. It was a big doe. There's gonna be lots. I guess I blame it on my father... he took me out rabbit hunting when I was six. A bunch of us used to go out pheasant hunting with pellet guns back then too. But this deer, she took a long time to get out of the woods. Big.

ME: Yeah, and it's...

DRIVER: Ground's soft. Mud. Took four hours to drag out. Shoulder's killing me where I had the ropes... but I got 'er out. Ran into three guys I know just at the end, helped me get her onto the car. I said, "where were you guys four hours ago?" but still it was a help. I don't think we're going to turn here [Brunswick St.] Traffic. Go all the way up. Yeah anyway, I'll have steaks for a while. And I like them. That's why I hunt. [passing Jewish assembly hall on Westmorland, lights are on] Must be something going on in there. "Established 1968." That's nearly when I was established... I'm a few years earlier... 1962. But I probably was established earlier... ha ha... I was born in January, so I guess I was established in 1961, ha ha. [getting to the corner of Westmorland and Dundonald] I should've turned before. Now here's the traffic. No wait... [truck Eastbound on Dundonald signalling to turn left on Westmorland, car more slowly approaching Westbound signalling to turn right on Westmorland... truck hesitates making the left hand across the two lanes] ...ahhhh, thought we'd caught a break there!!! He could've made that turn... the other guy was coming so slow...

ME: Well that's...

DRIVER: I could've made it. But I guess I'm out here all the time, you learn how to do it. Five years driving, 70 hours a week, no accidents, all my points. It's like whatever you study... you study?

ME: ...Me? Well yeah, but not now, I...

DRIVER: ...And whatever you studied you got good at right? I couldn't do it, I didn't study it. But I drive. I have my whole family on my insurance policy, you know. And it's only $80 a month. I was supposed to make my payment on Monday, but I didn't make it in, because I was in the woods getting my deer, you remember? Anyway the girl, she said, "Well, It was due yesterday," but I couldn't help it... I was in the woods, things come up. But she was just teasing me anyway. I've been going to them for 25 years. Allstate. My whole family's on my policy. But you can never get far ahead with cash... even when you're saving on payments. Just on my way to work the other day, hole in my transmission... took my whole week's pay, then I was late with rent... not that it's a problem, I rent from a buddy... but you think you're a little ahead then, WHAM! No more. [pulling onto campus] You want the front of D'Avray...?

ME: The back is fine.

DRIVER: Yeah! I took the back way in a few times when I was younger... ha ha. I had a buddy took the back way in one time... the back way into the house to see this guy's wife, but the guy found out... so it didn't go over, y'know. But, it's ironic... the guy ran after my buddy with a bat, a baseball bat, and eventually caught up and gave him one right in the mouth... broke all my buddy's front teeth, y'know? But in the end the guy had to pay for the dental to fix it... ironic. Right? OK, here we are.

End Scene

Next time I'll tell you the tale of the middle age lesbian and her reincarnated cat.

what the...?

Do you see that? On the ground?


Right under the sign?

SNOW!!!

What are we gonna do now, man? Game over, man!!

name that band!!!

FINE YOUNG CANNIBALS?
FOUR MAN ELECTRICAL BAND?
JOURNEY?

Adaption::Evolution as ???::Country Music

A day in the life. Tuesday.

Part I: Morning

Two things had to be done this morning before I opened the store at 11 am... 1) I had to drop a DVD... one which I didn't watch... back at Video King on Regent St. But I had to drop it off before they open because it's a day late and I wanted to delay paying the fees, given that this is the logical, patriotic video rental etiquette. Only I don't know if they open at 10 am or 11 am. 2) I had to make my way up to Future Shop because I have a couple of customers who pre-ordered the new Kate Bush CD, "Ariel." Given that it's her first new album in 12 years these people are righteously stoked. Unfortunately a blip in my ordering schedule has made getting it from our distributor on time imPOSSible... so, since Future Shop's sale price is a mere fiddy cents more than our wholesale price (damn you box stores!!!) I go the extra 3/4 mile for my peeps. However, to get to the top of the hill first thing in the morning is a physical feat my physical form no longer performs... but to take a cab up further bumps the financial viability of this endeavour downwards. The two birds/uno stone epiphany comes: walk downtown for around 9:30 am... drop the movie off in the movie holey-hole at Video King, then truck over to King's Place and take THE BUS uptown. Yay!!!

So it went. I took the 16S up through campus. It was the first time in a long while that I've been on a Fredericton bus where people had to stand for lack of space. At Future Shop I grabbed 3 copies of the CD... and if you buy multiples of any one thing they give you the retail stink eye... but I can get as good as give. The downhill trip was done on foot... easy peasy. Cross the parking lot at FHS then down York all the way, listening to The Most Serene Republic yelp about sad songs made sadder. I'm pulled to the curb by a man and son in a pickup truck travelling up York who ask my advice on how to get to the airport. So I confidently send them back down the hill, all the way to the corner of Queen and tell them to follow it all the way 'til it turns into Waterloo Row then all the way up Waterloo row until it forks into Forest Hill and Lincoln... look for the Airport sign indicated there. My good samaritan feeling slowly evaporate a few minutes later when I realized I'd sent them the wrong way on the Queen St. one way. Not the first time I've done that.

Part II : Afternoon

The store's been a little slow this week... cold snap + slow slide out of Rocktober and into Xmas generally cools things off. A few small orders trickle in including one unexpected COD from Sonic Unyon who shipped 5 CDs in a little box and charged me $16.00 for the shipping. HuH?? A call was made, gripes were registered. My daily fun phone call was from a woman who asked if we sold "Vinyl Record Albums." She'd obviously been taking a class in advanced redundancy at the College School Institute. The other minor chuckle of the day was from The Playhouse. They are putting on a show by "Legendary British Folk/Rockers" The Strawbs as an acoustic trio. Apparently the tickets sales have been "sluggish" so they asked us to have our customers fill out ballots for a draw to give out some freebies... fill up the seats, y'know. The promotions person grabbed the filled-out ballots around 1 pm... then around 4 pm I got the first of 5 phone calls from customers telling me they'd won the draw. Wow. The house must be pretty empty.

Part III: Evening

I had a short evening up at the lab... I had scheduled to be off at 7:00 pm. A week and a half ago (or so) I'd gotten an e-mail from a friend/ex-classmate in Montreal saying a friend of theirs was travelling from MTL to Halifax on this date and wondered if I could either a) entertain them for a little bit on a stopover or b) put them up overnight on a longer stopover. Where I am sometimes less of a bastard than others I agreed. I didn't hear back from anyone during the ensuing week (and being the laissee faire kinda guy people pay to be friends with I didn't make any effort to find out if all of this was still on until the night of). So I cabbed down at 7:00 pm only to discover a message saying the person had driven straight through, having left early in the day and drank lots of coffee (ideally). So there I was with (part of) a night off!!! But what to do??

Normally this precious free time would have been utterly squandered watching E-Now or Entertainment Tonight Canada or The Paint Drying Network... BUT... as of Monday I've imposed a moratorium on TV. Nay, more than moratorium, I've in fact banished my television to the ROOM I NEVER GO INTO of my apartment. In the first day of cathode-free living I've managed to read two thirds of a short story collection by Z Z Packer called Drinking Coffee Elsewhere. Tonight, however a different thought occurred to me. In the course of deflecting the seemingly innumerable pre-holiday charity solicitations I'd been sufficiently weakened to fall sucker to a Red Cross appeal. Oh Conscience, My Conscience. Part of the donation gave me entrance to An Evening of Country Music at The Royal Canadian Legion Branch #4. Soooooo...

In my mind this is what I heard (i.e. my left brain/right brain bored brain/beer drinking brain kicking up a little electrical storm): Why not go down... hang out at the back of the bar and see what a night at the Legion is like. Hell we went to the 20/twenty club at Hallowe'en... this could be the only uncrossed frontier left for a nearly young man to break though. My mental picture poofed once I got there and found out the show wasn't in the bar but upstairs in what must be the Bingo Room. It's laid out like Amateur Night at the Church Social... all stackable chairs row on row and a smaaaaaallllll stage at the front. But, in for a penny.... You could buy beer, but I stuck with water... probably due to the systems shock. I waited for the room to fill up (capacity was 275), but it topped off around 60 people. I thought: well at least it isn't only the indie rock shows that have off nights in good ol' F'ton.

The show went down like this: A KHJ lady introduced the evening and the first performer... a local act I'd never heard of... who did two songs. I thought: That's nice, giving an up-and-comer a brief taste of the big time. Then the first of the five headliners came on and performed two songs, introduced the next performer who did two songs... y'see the pattern??? Four of the five were male artists with acoustic guitar and all five were backed up by a second seated acoustic guitar player and an electric bass player. There was a brief intermission after the cavalcade was finished and after the break all five artists got up on stage together and each did a song, passed along to the next, then did a second song when their turn came back around. The second song had a Christmas Theme. Finally they all sang a song together recorded as a fundraiser last Xmas during the first similar X-Canada tour (this was the second). And that was that. It was about 10:30 pm.

The thing of it is... during the intermission I spoke with a few people sitting around me in the audience and everyone was so g-ddamn nice!!! I was mentally readying myself for the mockiest of mock-fests... but my irony essentially got the shit kicked out of it. One grandmother in her early 60s talked with me about how she was a little disappointed with the turnout, wishing it had been better promoted and maybe put in a bar like the Rockin' Rodeo instead of the Legion, which was a good venue but with a stigma that only "Old folks" might attend a show there. Essentially it was the same conversation I have with a half dozen indie and/or punk hipsters every week at the store. She had a deep deep love for Duane Steele and brought her grandson, who looked about 12 or 13, to the show with her. Yep.

Moments after the show ended all the performers were back out front among the small crowd shaking hands, signing pictures and CDs. Since I'd stuck it out through the whole extravaganza I figured I should at least say hello to one of the artists... so I picked Diane Chase for reasons both practical (she was nearest to where I was standing), and epicurean (see for yourselves). She is a nice lady from Sudbury whose mom lived for a while in Bathurst... does a lot of these charity show, including just getting back from a Red Cross tour of Afghanistan and the Persian Gulf... and somehow manages to look simultaneously born to be watched on stage and then like a nice (but hot) young aunt at a wedding reception. And humble, of course (it's a Country Music gene likely already copywritten by Garth Brooks). We talked for a bit, then she took a second to sign an autograph for the 3 year old daughter of a lady-fan, sitting with the kid on her lap while she did it. I'm sure this is how Interpol's aftershow ritual usually goes too.

Finally it occurred to me this would be a great opportunity to activate my recently discovered alter-ego of "Joseph." I'll explain this development to you a bit later... but for now I'll just say that Joseph has discovered he is a Diane Chase fan.



Then home to bed.

learning by accident

As I begin my working week I find myself already discovering new ways to not do my deadline oriented tasks (Exclaim! reviews, Fiddlehead reading, store stuff). Instead I've been poking around Google Local trying to look in people's windows and so forth. In a little satellite flyover of my point of origin (Gaspe Coast) I noticed a circular lake a little north of the peninsula.



Probably some of you already know about Lake Manicougan, but I am geographically illiterate so it was all news to me. Click on the link (Lake Manicougan name) to learn that happenings in Quebec may have killed the dinosaurs. Makes separatism look quaint in comparison, no?

Marc of the North, North once more

Alas, back to the 'Nun for you.

Thought of the day

Everything is room temperature of the room you're in.