...the slow clubfooted slouch towards Bethlehem v.6.0
As the Americans struggle to keep their biases cleverly masked under the guise of de-Christing xMas... (it's the HOLIDAY season y'all)... in order to, I dunno, prevent someone from blowing up nativity scenes in Akron... I, myself, bemoan the secular holiday. I mean, who do you complain to if you don't want to participate in the reindeer games yet still need to buy toilet paper occasionally? I shouldn't have to punch babies in the face to get people to move faster through the narrow aisles... I really shouldn't.
I propose an xMas-free supermall. It would entail each store to be equipped with, instead of greeters, interrogators... so that if Lardy McMomstein tries to sneak out with non-gift tube socks in hopes of making them in to a present the staff would crack down on her faster than Brad Woodside on anti-family values at BOOM! on a Saturday night.
Maybe there are some wrinkles in the idea need ironing, but that's someone else's job, not mine.
I may just be a little cranky because I'm working on no sleep. I had a cup of coffee a little too late in the evening last night and found myself still up at 6 a.m. watching DVD special features in order to break down my braiwaves. I finally got to sleep around 6:30 a.m. and had a weird dream about wandering into my old high school to pee only to be caught up in some sort of group trivia/scavenger hunt nonesense involving dumpsters behind Chinese restaurants. At 9:30 a.m. I woke up rested, sort've, and allowed myself an extra half-hour... that unfortunately turned into an hour that turned into a blur of pants and toque yanking-on to make it to work on time. The rest of my day involved McDonald's, dry shaving in public washrooms and deflecting Pitney Bowes offers.
Ho, frigging, Ho.
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