it is a capital idea

Hey,

I'm in Ottawa. I'd show you a picture of where I am, but I didn't bring up a camera, nor does the version of explorer installed on this computer display the funny little "add picture" icon... so that's that. Look up Ottawa Ontario on google... you'll see what it looks like.

The bus trip up was pretty good... the usual blend of comforting immobilization and discomforting sweat from having a largish senior citizen from Kingston fall asleep leaning on you. I coped with it all by playing the most recent Eluvium CD 8 or 10 times in a row between Riviere du Loup and Montreal.

Our performance is tonight... I'm excited/aprehensive... have that familiar pre-preformance loosening of the bowels. It took a while yesterday afternoon to get all of the media on Marc's laptop... it was nearly full to the top and needed emptying before all the sound files could be added. The sound editor I'm (ab)using for the show has been trying some idiosyncratic methods of working that don't always involve always actually "working" so I'm a little squeamish about that.

It seems like in all the not-so-many times I've done sound performances I've never had the same audio set up twice... that plus a reliance on mostly borrowed equipment is kinda like getting invited to parties where you're not sure anyone you know will be attending.

Another up-and-downside to the trip is that it always seems like there is just a little too little time to see and do all the people and... er... things you'd like. I feel like I'm always short-changing someone... reverse-selfishly it's usually myself... or is that massive-passive aggressively?

You tell me.

Well back to it.

The Health of Welfaring

Sluggish.

At the end of another 6 hour stretch at the lab tweaking sounds, burning CDs and DVDs, uploading files to FTPs (just in case), I'm officially burnt out.

I was burnt out on Saturday when I came up and sat in front of the computer for 5 hours wishing it would just develop A.I. and take care of me instead of vice versa.

I was burnt out on Sunday when I came back up at 9 am and work through 'til 5 pm, breaking only for a nutrient-weak*** lunch of burritos and ring-o-los (with 2% milk to build my bones).

Now I'm also burnt out.

So it goes.

I reached a point on Sunday where I just felt like I'd lost the point to it all... sorta, "I don't enjoy performing this stuff and no one really enjoys listening to it... so why am I working dozens of hours on fart noises then taking a 13 hour bus ride to do this?" Fortunately I've come to recognize this as my very usual pre-show depression... kinda like post-partum, but in reverse.

***Oh yeah... the "nutrient" thing jumped up and bit me on the ass a week and a half ago... I'd been a pretty good boy, diligently taking the prescribed Prevacid (at $80+ a month for we non-Blue Crossed) daily or every other daily; then my prescription ran out smack in the early stages of a house-sitting stint at my friends Howard and Linda's. My stomach had been feeling tons better so the initial absence of my morning pill-pop went largely unnoticed... no pill bottle on the bathroom sink, out of mind. Likewise my pretty stuck-to diet routine went out the window as I chowed down on snack foods and upped my coffee intake to counter early cat-induced risings.

About a week into the bad-diet, drugless stretch I started to get diarrhea... I had bought some questionable sandwich fixins at Victory and I wrote it up to that... but a day later I started getting cramps... little ones at first... then bad ones... then bad ones every 5-10 minutes... which went on like this for 2 and a half days... sleep was difficult as each cramp woke me up... eating was impossible outside of broth and yoghurt...

At first opportunity I re-filled my prescription and popped like a speed freak, topping off with Eno and Pepto and any other "O" ending substance I could grab... eventually my tummy settled and sleep returned.

Even the cat looked happier.

Now if I can just get this show behind me... no, really FUN FUN FUN